Avoid the Queens B&B

Today I was sitting at Starbucks, enjoying my free chai - courtesy of my birthday Starbucks gift cards (thanks guys!) and I decided I would read the New York Post that was left behind on the table. I thought to myself- this will be good, I haven't read/watched the news in awhile, so it's good that I get caught up and know what's going on in the world. I begin to read and am shocked by the amount of celebrity news that's in the newspaper. Now don't get me wrong... I love a good People magazine (it's the only crossword that doesn't make me feel like an idiot!) but I was trying to really catch up on the happenings of the world but I found myself reading about Lindsay Lohan's fifteenth proclamation that she's going to turn her life around. Then the last half of the paper was just ads and page long lists of "unclaimed land recipients" (which I'm not one). I finished the paper and sighed thinking to myself, "Well I guess that's why I don't read the news- it's all useless... I mean if this is the New York Post, what are non-legit papers printing??" Later today I was at my friend Andrew's apartment sharing this story with Andrew and his roommates Kevin and Kelsy. Kevin, who has been attending Columbia for the past couple of years (making him a local as far as I'm concerned) informed me that the New York Post is in fact NOT a legit newspaper and I had basically wasted my time. I just assumed the Times and the Post were comparable... apparently while the New York Times and the Washington Post are good newspapers, the New York Post and the Washington Times are not. Seriously? What is wrong with these newspaper people? I now will no longer read the news because it's too hard to figure out HOW to read the news.

ANYWAY- to explain the title of this post, I will share with you a story from the New York Post that was probably my favorite. This past weekend a woman was staying at a Bed and Breakfast in Queens (not sure why anyone would do that... perhaps there are pockets of Queens far far from me that are beautiful and tranquil?) and the owners of said B&B were monkey-owners. Always an amenity one looks for in a B&B-- free monkey interaction. Apparently as this woman was sleeping, the monkey snuck into her room and bit the woman in her FACE. The woman had to be hospitalized due to the damage. I think there are about 12 morals of this story- the most obvious being do not leave your door open at a B&B where there are exotic animals. So I mean honestly, if the Post wants to continue printing stories like these, I think I might prefer it to the Times. Who needs to know about a hurricane threatening my existence here in the Northeast? Did the Post mention anything about that? Of course not-- why would you when there are rabid monkeys biting off faces of Queenslings on their staycations? THAT, my friends, is news.

Yesterday I had a meeting with the HR people at Catholic Charities (the agency I'm going to be working for)- where I filled out about 78 forms to prove I'm not a child molester or criminal, and will officially start work on Tuesday. FINALLY. Don't get me wrong- the break has been great and it's given me an opportunity to start figuring out this city.. but I'm ready for a routine and, more importantly, an INCOME. Cause those Starbucks cards are running THIN- and I've formed a strong attachment to the chai. Feel free to send gifts.

Also I apologize for the lull in blogging... I have absolutely no excuse for this since you know that I have no job or obligations at this time. I'm going to blame my friend Katie who gets the prize for best birthday present ever- a 3 month membership to Netflix. I finished Arrested Development Season 1 at an embarrassingly quick rate. Anyway- I'll try and be more diligent as I encounter more exciting/strange things her in ole NYC!