SCM: You work here??
Me: Yes I do- can I help you?
SCM: No you don't-- you're LYIN'! This place has been closed for YEARS!
Me: (Confused) Um, well, we were open yesterday.
SCM: No you WEREN'T... you're LYIN'! (slight pause) You smoke crack?
Me: (Even more confused-- and slightly alarmed) Um, nope. Nope, I don't.
SCM: Ah, you're LYIN'. You don't gotta worry, I ain't gonna tell the cops! I got a kilo o'crack-- you wanna buy a kilo o'crack?
Me: (Wishing desperately for my supervisor to arrive) Um, no I'm good thanks.
SCM: You smoke weed? You smoke anything?
Me: No- I really don't. I don't smoke anything. (Kind of thinking I should have just said yes so we'd have something to relate about!)
SCM: You LYIN'!
(At this point I'm convinced he's just NEVER going to believe what I say)
SCM: (creepily and slowly looks me up and down) You look like a mobster's wife!
Me: (I had no words... what the HECK do you say to that? What does that even mean? I don't look Italian!)
SCM: (spots my tea) You know, someone's gonna throw that tea in your face and then put a jinx on you and then say have a nice day!
Me: (Still no words... at all.)
.... then SCM walks away with his cart. Cursing about his kilo o'crack.
My supervisor arrives about two minutes later and as she's unlocking the door I tell her a summary of the interaction I just had, to which she responds "Sara, why are you talking to these men?? Do not talk to these men!!"
... At what point in that conversation did I INVITE any of those comments? What exactly was I supposed to do? Guess I'll have a chat with Mr. M and Ms. L and make sure that they deliver me to my work no earlier and no later than 9:00am. MY BAD.
I mean I guess the only thing to do at this point is look for one of those long skinny cigarette holders and some fur to complete my mobster's wife costume for Halloween. Thank you for the brilliant idea SCM. I'm sure we will meet again...