Me: Okay Jerry, how much weed are you smoking a day?
Jerry: I don't know.. like 5 or 6 bags a day?
Me: Alright, that's a lot of weed. Jerry-- we're going to have to work on getting you in a program that helps you stop smoking.
Jerry: Wait... stop smoking weed? Why would I do that?
Me: Well.. other than all the rest of the reasons we already talked about (I have spared you the ten minute previous conversation about the negative effects of marijuana... You all went through D.A.R.E-- you know) weed is also illegal so you run the risk of getting arrested.
Jerry: Ho'd up, ho'd up, ho'd up... you're trying to tell me weed is ILLEGAL?
Me: (Apparently not everyone in the room was a D.A.R.E graduate) Yes, Jerry.
Jerry: Okay I get like in the house or whatever... but you can NOT tell me that it is illegal to smoke weed in the PARK.
Me: Yep... weed's illegal wherever you smoke it. In the house, in the park... (with a mouse, with a lark-- I think Dr. Seuss could have really tapped into the drug education market if he tried)
Jerry: Okay, but you can't tell me to stop smoking weed. Like, okay, weed is my HABIT. You know, just like you go to work, that's your habit... smoking weed is my habit.
Well played Jerry. Perhaps he has been studying for the SAT. Weed:Jerry::Work:Sara. High hopes for this one. If work is ever made illegal, I'll take tips from Jerry and persevere-- for the sake of preserving my habit.